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Three Mistakes Closed Minds Want You To Believe About Cross-Cultural Communication

T. M. T.

If you’re serious about learning how to get diverse team members to start working together like a well-oiled machine, then this list of common mistakes preventing people from engaging in cross-cultural communication holds the keys you need.

The moral with this list is don’t let uncertainty hold you back from engaging with different cultures. 

There are common misconceptions people hold when interacting with other cultures. Everyone needs to understand this means you can change your mindset when approaching new cultures; however, these beliefs will keep you stuck in your efforts to create an inclusive environment.

Mistake # 1 – Expecting The Other Culture To Be Just Like Me

Many people encounter another culture and suddenly feel uncomfortable because everything seems different.  However, when you expect things to be different, it becomes a more comfortable experience.

Mistake # 2 – Thinking Differences Are A Sign Of Superiority Or Inferiority

Many people see how other cultures function differently and assume their own way is better (or in some cases worse) than the new culture.  However, there often is no right or wrong way to do something, just different ways that may be more or less effective.

Mistake # 3 – Refusing To Try Anything New

Many people avoid trying new things – food, fun, or festivals – because they are unfamiliar and they’re not sure they’ll like them.  However, you’ll never know until you try! As long as you remain respectful, it’s ok to try something new and not like it.

My advice at this point is to learn more about what makes cultures unique and special.

Want even more? Well, if you’ve ever wanted a whole lot more detail about building a diverse team, my one-on-one complimentary consultation has the answers every leader needs.  Click Here: https://calendly.com/tasham-troy/consultation

Cultural Intelligence, Leadership, Our Blog

Three Ways Cross-Cultural Communication Can Help You Become More Inclusive

T. M. T.

I was recently asked what the top reasons would be that a professional should get started and to learn about cross-cultural communication. I have three key reasons why I think this is an important topic for any professional, but especially for leaders.

  1. The first reason is, the better you understand yourself, the better you can understand others. As you understand others, you can adapt and connect with them, build strong connections, and find those win-win outcomes that we talk about in business so much. “Understand yourself to understand others.” 
  1. The second reason is that learning cross-cultural communication helps you develop a respect for differences. When you see people from Korea doing things very differently from Americans, you can say,  “Oh, that’s because it’s a different culture.” However, when you see your neighbors down the street doing something different from how your family does things, we don’t usually think, “Oh, it’s because it’s a different culture.” We tend to expect everyone to interact with the world the same way we do, but that is unreasonable. There are many ways to do things right in a lot of cases, so developing that respect for differences is the second reason. 
  1. The third reason is to learn to honor and value differences. It’s not enough to recognize and respect differences. You might find another person’s way of doing something is more effective. Just because your family or your community did it one way doesn’t mean it’s the most effective or the best way. As I’ve learned about different cultures and different ways of doing things through interacting with professionals from other countries, I’ve been able to create my own way of approaching things.

In the end, I think it’s human nature to gravitate towards what’s familiar, but I love what John Maxwell says. 

In his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, he has the Law of Magnetism, which states, “Who you are is who you attract.” A lot of times we attract the people who look and act and sound like us; that’s natural. But when you’re intentional, you can attract the people who have the same values, who might look and sound and act differently, but have similarities that go deeper than the surface.

Again, it’s human nature to connect with people who are familiar, but when you step out of your own perspective, there’s so much you can learn, and you can benefit from the enrichment that comes from diverse perspectives.

Not sure where to start? I offer complimentary, no obligation introductory consultations. Schedule your consultation at https://calendly.com/tasham-troy/consultation, or contact Tasha M. Troy at tmtroy@troycommunications.net.

Cultural Intelligence, Leadership, Our Blog

The Truth About Building A Diverse Team

T. M. T.

If you want to know how to get your diverse team members to start working together as a cohesive team, then this strategy holds the keys you need to succeed.

The Bottom Line Here Is: Inclusion Begins When You Respect Others 

Want a quick strategy on a widely overlooked fact for most people who want to improve their inclusive leadership skills? It’s the fact that the starting point on the ROADMAP to inclusion is learning to respect people no matter who they are, where they come from, what personality traits they exhibit, which political party they support, etc.   

While humans are by nature tribal (just observe any sports fans to see the truth of this!), the bottom line is that we are all human and worthy of respect, of being treated fairly and with dignity.  If you can learn to look at even “the least of these” as worthy of respect, then you’ve taken your first step on the ROADMAP..

The most important thing to understand with this is that if you find that you don’t respect people who think, act, or believe differently than you, it’s time to spend some time with them.  Get to know them on a personal level, a human level.  This will give you the opportunity to discover a couple of things.  

1. We are more alike than we are different.  We have similar hopes, dreams, struggles, and challenges, no matter where we come from.  

2. Each individual has unique strengths and talents to offer the world.  When we take the time to get to know each other, we begin to see these strengths.  The truth here is that we are stronger together, celebrating our differences, instead of separating over them. 

This spells the difference between success and failure when building a diverse team because you cannot be inclusive if you don’t respect the people around you.  This is where the rubber meets the road, where “inclusion” becomes more than a word; it becomes an action that can eventually become a lifestyle. 

So the next logical step here is to find someone in your personal or professional circle who you don’t automatically get along with.  Perhaps their personality rubs you the wrong way, or their culture doesn’t make sense to you.  Make a point to schedule a lunch or coffee break with them and get to know them as a person.  Find where you have points in common instead of focusing on the differences.

Did this get you excited? Well, this article is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to building a diverse team! This article series “You Need a ROADMAP!” I just started gives you the rest of the story… and a whole lot more. 

Sign up to be notified when the next article drops at Troy Communications Blog.  

Interpersonal Communication, Leadership, Our Blog

How to Influence Groups toward Positive, Productive Outcomes

T. M. T.

“To connect with people in a group, relate to them as individuals.”

            – John Maxwell

This quote is from John Maxwell’s from book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.  John is globally recognized for his expertise in values-based, people-centric servant leadership.  He understands what it takes to lead groups through influence.

The big idea here is that we often complicate relationships when it comes to relating to a group, but remember – all groups are comprised of individuals!

Here’s how this applies to us and building better work relationships:

No one wants to be considered a “group”; we all want to be recognized for who we are, as individuals.  I know I’ve made the mistake of treating a group as one entity, but my rapport with the group improved when I made a point of connecting with the individuals first. 

This reminds me of The 5 Core Concerns described by Roger Fisher and Dan Shapiro in their book Beyond Reason.  Everyone you meet is concerned with appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status, and their role.  (There’s so much I could say about this!  You can find a little more about this in my blog post The Magic Key to Persuasion)

When you meet the individual needs of your group, the entire group functions better.  I’ve found that once I’ve established a connection with the individual, I am better able to nurture the connections between members of the group.  When they trust me, they are better able to trust their peers.  This leads to better collaboration and better outcomes. 

These tips can help you whether you have a formal leadership position or not, so let’s put this into action:

  1. Take an inventory of the relationships you have with your group.  This could be your work team, or it could be a group of clients.  (This also works with groups in your personal life.)
  2. Identify which of your group members need their core concerns addressed.
  3. Start doing the little things to show you see and appreciate them as an individual.
  4. Watch how the relationship starts to grow and bloom!  As your relationship strengthens, you can help them connect better to other members of the group, strengthening the entire unit.
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A Tip to Improve Work Relationships Every Leader Needs

T. M. T.

If you’re a professional who is sincere about wanting to discover the keys to positively influence people at work and beyond, then pay careful attention to this tip for building better relationships at work.

The Main Idea Here Is: The Best Leaders EMPOWER Their People. 

In their book Beyond Reason, Roger Fischer and Dan Shapiro describe the 5 Core Concerns each person is preoccupied with.  One is AUTONOMY.  By empowering your people, you meet their need for autonomy in a powerful way.

As a professional, here’s what I mean:  you can set yourself apart from other leaders and managers in your industry by giving your people the authority to do what they do best.

This spells the difference between success and failure for everyone because the more you empower your people, the less you need to worry about the Great Resignation.

Now the thing for you to do is make a note of where you may have been micromanaging and identify who on your team can take ownership of that task.  Then empower that person to get things done!

Hey, did you realize, this article is just the tip of the iceberg for building better relationships at work! This Facebook group I just released gives you the rest of the story… Join it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1506992179373493

Interpersonal Communication, Leadership, Our Blog

The Truth about Your Biggest Goals

T. M. T.

“One is too small a number to achieve greatness.”

            – John Maxwell

This quote is from John Maxwell’s book The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork.

John Maxwell is a master at connecting with people one-on-one, in small groups, and as an audience. He truly understands what it takes to achieve big goals.

The big idea here is the “self made man” is a myth.  There are no “lone rangers.” All successful people have a community or network that have contributed to their success.

In his book Creating Minds, Dr. Howard Gardner of Harvard University demonstrates how geniuses like Picasso, Ghandi, and Einstein didn’t become the men who could change the world by working alone.  He shows how each of these geniuses had a community around them that encouraged and challenged them to become the great men they became.  

I have been fortunate to have had two incredible work relationships with women who thought very differently from me.  The first, when I was still in S. Korea, was a very creative thinker who was an auditory learner.  When we collaborated, my organizational skills and visual learning style combined with her skills to create powerful learning activities and materials.  The second, when I was working in Washington, DC, was another extrovert to my introvert.  As we collaborated, we created a rich learning environment for our trainees that neither alone could have achieved.

The truth is we all need people around us to help us achieve our greatest goals.  When we intentionally seek out people WHO THINK DIFFERENTLY FROM US, it enhances your ability to create a plan and execute that plan.

So, let’s put this into action:

  1. Take an inventory of the relationships you have – both personal and professional
  2. Identify those who have been your greatest supporters and encouragers – take time to thank them!
  3. Identify those who bring complimentary skills, talents, and perspectives – become more intentional about collaborating with them
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Balancing Magnetism and Connection

T. M. T.

I’ve been thinking lately about John Maxwell’s Law of Magnetism from The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership in relationship to working for inclusion. This law states that “who you are is who you attract.”

When it comes to creating inclusive groups and workplaces, sometimes we have to look past the obvious features of a person, features that might highlight differences, and find the features we have in common, things like values, goals, and mission.

When building a team, John Maxwell recommends finding people who are “like-valued” but with different strengths. That means being more intentional than simply looking at the people you are naturally drawn to.

I first started practicing this about 6 years ago. As an educator, I am frequently evaluated by students and administrators. For many years, my student evaluations consistently showed about 10% of my students LOVED me, 10% HATED me, and the other 80% liked me.

For years, I assumed it was an expression of the students’ personal preferences, but then I learned John Maxwell’s Law of Connection and realized it was my responsibility to connect with students who weren’t naturally drawn to my teaching style.

When I started intentionally reaching out to students who held back and seemed aloof, the change was remarkable. It created a new way of relating to my students (and my evaluation numbers improved, too!).

What amazed me was how little effort it took. All I did was greet the aloof students by name when they came into the classroom. That little action let them know I saw them and I knew them, that they were as important to me as any of the other students.

If you’re ready for a little help improving the relationships around you, let’s talk! You’ll be surprised how impactful little things can be!

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The Power of Language

T. M. T.

Recently I decided to re-read one of my favorite novels of all time – The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien.  There are so many things I love about this novel, but the thing I love best is how well Tolkien created different cultures with their own histories and languages.  (This shouldn’t surprise you if you know me at all!) 

This time through, however, I’ve become more aware of the cultural conflict within the story.  Tolkien paints a beautiful picture of how conflict and mistrust can be turned around for mutual benefit.

A History of Mistrust

From the beginning, the characters of Legolas the Elf and Gimli the Dwarf are set up to be antagonistic.  Almost at their first meeting, Gimli’s father makes mention of mistreatment he received at the hands of Legolas’s father – a reference to the adventures described in Tolkien’s book The Hobbit (p. 255).  There are historical grievances between the two races, and these two characters have inherited those grievances.

Shortly thereafter, these two are assigned to be companions of Frodo, the character whose quest is the main focus of the novel.  Their paths take them through a territory that long ago was the site of friendship between Elves and Dwarves, though it was a time that came to an abrupt and tragic end.  This is the first time we hear Gimli and Legolas both defend the perspective of their own people (p. 303). 

They eventually make their way to the Elf kingdom of Lothlorien, where Dwarves are not welcome due to this history.  Gimli is allowed to pass but is watched closely.  

When the adventures of the group are recounted to the Elf king, he blames Gimli for a devastating loss the group had just experienced – that was no doing of Gimli’s but occurred in the ancient Dwarf territory.  

It only takes a word

Here we come to a pivotal point in the story.  

The Elf queen Galadriel speaks words of comfort using the Dwarvish language.  It is such a small thing, yet it has such an impact on his heart.  

“And the Dwarf, hearing the names given in his own ancient tongue, looked up and met her eyes; and it seemed to him that he looked suddenly into the heart of an enemy and saw there love and understanding” (p. 356).

It’s easy to overlook the importance of this moment in the life of the Dwarf and his relationship with Legolas.  

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” 
― Mother Teresa

From that day forward, he and Legolas become fast friends and keep each other company when their paths lead through strange lands and beyond.  

  • On the edge of Fangorn Forest (p. 491):
    • Legolas: “I could have been happy here, if I had come in days of peace.”
    • Gimli: “I dare say you could. You are a Wood-elf, anyway, though Elves of any kind are strange folk.  Yet you comfort me. Where you go, I will go.”
  • At Helm’s Deep (p. 532):
    • Gimli: “There is good rock here. This country has tough bones.  … Give me a year and a hundred of my kin and I would make this a place that armies would break upon like water.”
    • Legolas: “I do not doubt it, but you are a dwarf, and dwarves are strange folk.  I do not like this place, … but you comfort me, Gimli, and I am glad to have you standing nigh with your stout legs and your hard axe.”
  • At the end of their time in Middle Earth: 
    • “But when King Elessar gave up his life Legolas followed at last the desire of his heart and sailed over Sea. We have heard tell that Legolas took Gimli Gloin’s son with him because of their great friendship, greater than any that has been between Elf and Dwarf” (p. 1081).

“You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together we can do great things.”

― Mother Teresa

Still True Today

In today’s environment, all too often we speak harshly to those we don’t agree with.  Even our leaders frequently use “us vs. them” language that alienates instead of heals.  

However, it only takes a little kindness and empathy, looking at the world from someone else’s perspective and speaking their language, to begin to turn things around.  

What words of kindness can you speak today?

References

Mother Teresa, https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/838305.Mother_Teresa

Tolkien, J.R.R. (1955, 2004) The Lord of the Rings: 50th Anniversary one-volume edition, Houghton-Mifflin Company

Cultural Intelligence, Lessons from the Field, Our Blog

Culture and Containment

T. M. T.

This past weekend, I got an emergency notice on my phone from the Korean government officially encouraging “social distancing” for the next two weeks.  This seemed odd to me because, at least in the area where I’ve been living, we’ve been practicing social distancing for about a month already.

As I’ve watched the US start to grapple with the COVID-19 outbreak, I’ve been struck by the strong contrast between how the people of the two countries have reacted.

  • Korea has experienced a shortage of surgical masks, but nothing else has been hard to get, least of all toilet paper.
  • It is social etiquette to wear a face mask in public, not just to protect yourself but to protect those around you.  
  • Schools have been closed since February, with all instruction delivered online, to protect children and teachers.

We are currently scheduled to return to classrooms after the 2-week social distancing mandate is concluded. 

In contrast, the US response has been panicked and chaotic. 

I think there are several reasons for this contrast.  It is only partially cultural.

Cultural: Korea has a collectivist culture, which means people tend to think of what is best for the group before their own comfort.  However, the individualist tendencies of the US encourage people to act in their own interests first.  This one point explains the prevalence of wearing face masks.  My understanding is that when I wear a mask in public, I let others know I consider their health to be important.  

Socio-political: When it comes to following guidelines set forth by the government, Koreans seem to be more willing than Americans.  In the past ten years, I’ve seen many Americans become more and more distrustful of anything the government says or does.  Additionally, Korea has seen coronavirus outbreaks before by facing both SARS and MERS. However, this is the first outbreak the US has had to endure.  It seems Korea has learned from past experience and has taken relatively swift action.  

The American reaction hasn’t been all negative.  I have loved watching celebrities and entertainers sharing their talents through social media in order to alleviate our isolation.  I have been encouraged by the number of educational and entertainment institutions that made their content available for us to continue learning, growing, and living.  It has begun to create the sense of community that I so admire in the Korean culture.

The point I remind myself and my colleagues here is that this is temporary.  “It came to pass”; it didn’t come to stay.  The social distancing is only for a season that, in retrospect, will seem so short – a month or two compared to a lifetime is really nothing.  The “introvert motto” really does apply here: Let us unite together … separately!  

Leadership, Lessons from the Field, Our Blog

A Tale of Two Leaders

T. M. T.

In my work at George Mason University Korea, I’m in the unusual (or maybe not so unusual) position of having two sets of administrative leadership – the deans at Mason Korea and the directors at INTO Mason, my home department on the main Fairfax campus in Virginia.  

As the situation here in Korea has been developing, with the rapid spread of COVID-19 throughout the country and the decision to move all instruction to an online format for the first half of the semester, these two sets of leaders have had very different ways of expressing their concern and care for us, their faculty. 

  • One group has been focused on the practical – getting tools and resources to us to facilitate our move to online teaching.  For many of the faculty, this has been their first experience with online instruction, and it can be overwhelming.  
  • One group has been focused more on the personal care side – asking us how we’re holding up and offering emotional as well as practical support.

It would be easy to look at these two groups and think this is a gender-related response; the practical group is all male, the personal group all female.  However, that would be overly simplistic, especially in light of my own reaction – I am a highly task-oriented female!  

When a few of the faculty got on a Skype call with our directors in Fairfax, they asked us how we were doing, and my first response was related to how I was adapting to online instruction. The other two faculty on the call responded with their emotional concerns.  Even with my students, I have to be very, very intentional about asking how they are doing before diving into the course work for the day.  

If it’s not gender-related, then I would suggest it is personality-related.  The DiSC model of human behavior identifies two personality types that are primarily task-oriented and two that are primarily people-oriented. I have learned the hard way to be more people-oriented than I am naturally inclined to be.  

Which expression of care and concern is better?  I would argue that we need both – the practical and the personal.   We need both – from all our leaders.