Tag: cross cultural communication

Cultural Intelligence, Leadership, Our Blog

Three Ways Cross-Cultural Communication Can Help You Become More Inclusive

T. M. T.

I was recently asked what the top reasons would be that a professional should get started and to learn about cross-cultural communication. I have three key reasons why I think this is an important topic for any professional, but especially for leaders.

  1. The first reason is, the better you understand yourself, the better you can understand others. As you understand others, you can adapt and connect with them, build strong connections, and find those win-win outcomes that we talk about in business so much. “Understand yourself to understand others.” 
  1. The second reason is that learning cross-cultural communication helps you develop a respect for differences. When you see people from Korea doing things very differently from Americans, you can say,  “Oh, that’s because it’s a different culture.” However, when you see your neighbors down the street doing something different from how your family does things, we don’t usually think, “Oh, it’s because it’s a different culture.” We tend to expect everyone to interact with the world the same way we do, but that is unreasonable. There are many ways to do things right in a lot of cases, so developing that respect for differences is the second reason. 
  1. The third reason is to learn to honor and value differences. It’s not enough to recognize and respect differences. You might find another person’s way of doing something is more effective. Just because your family or your community did it one way doesn’t mean it’s the most effective or the best way. As I’ve learned about different cultures and different ways of doing things through interacting with professionals from other countries, I’ve been able to create my own way of approaching things.

In the end, I think it’s human nature to gravitate towards what’s familiar, but I love what John Maxwell says. 

In his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, he has the Law of Magnetism, which states, “Who you are is who you attract.” A lot of times we attract the people who look and act and sound like us; that’s natural. But when you’re intentional, you can attract the people who have the same values, who might look and sound and act differently, but have similarities that go deeper than the surface.

Again, it’s human nature to connect with people who are familiar, but when you step out of your own perspective, there’s so much you can learn, and you can benefit from the enrichment that comes from diverse perspectives.

Not sure where to start? I offer complimentary, no obligation introductory consultations. Schedule your consultation at https://calendly.com/tasham-troy/consultation, or contact Tasha M. Troy at tmtroy@troycommunications.net.

Our Blog

The Power of Language

T. M. T.

Recently I decided to re-read one of my favorite novels of all time – The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien.  There are so many things I love about this novel, but the thing I love best is how well Tolkien created different cultures with their own histories and languages.  (This shouldn’t surprise you if you know me at all!) 

This time through, however, I’ve become more aware of the cultural conflict within the story.  Tolkien paints a beautiful picture of how conflict and mistrust can be turned around for mutual benefit.

A History of Mistrust

From the beginning, the characters of Legolas the Elf and Gimli the Dwarf are set up to be antagonistic.  Almost at their first meeting, Gimli’s father makes mention of mistreatment he received at the hands of Legolas’s father – a reference to the adventures described in Tolkien’s book The Hobbit (p. 255).  There are historical grievances between the two races, and these two characters have inherited those grievances.

Shortly thereafter, these two are assigned to be companions of Frodo, the character whose quest is the main focus of the novel.  Their paths take them through a territory that long ago was the site of friendship between Elves and Dwarves, though it was a time that came to an abrupt and tragic end.  This is the first time we hear Gimli and Legolas both defend the perspective of their own people (p. 303). 

They eventually make their way to the Elf kingdom of Lothlorien, where Dwarves are not welcome due to this history.  Gimli is allowed to pass but is watched closely.  

When the adventures of the group are recounted to the Elf king, he blames Gimli for a devastating loss the group had just experienced – that was no doing of Gimli’s but occurred in the ancient Dwarf territory.  

It only takes a word

Here we come to a pivotal point in the story.  

The Elf queen Galadriel speaks words of comfort using the Dwarvish language.  It is such a small thing, yet it has such an impact on his heart.  

“And the Dwarf, hearing the names given in his own ancient tongue, looked up and met her eyes; and it seemed to him that he looked suddenly into the heart of an enemy and saw there love and understanding” (p. 356).

It’s easy to overlook the importance of this moment in the life of the Dwarf and his relationship with Legolas.  

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” 
― Mother Teresa

From that day forward, he and Legolas become fast friends and keep each other company when their paths lead through strange lands and beyond.  

  • On the edge of Fangorn Forest (p. 491):
    • Legolas: “I could have been happy here, if I had come in days of peace.”
    • Gimli: “I dare say you could. You are a Wood-elf, anyway, though Elves of any kind are strange folk.  Yet you comfort me. Where you go, I will go.”
  • At Helm’s Deep (p. 532):
    • Gimli: “There is good rock here. This country has tough bones.  … Give me a year and a hundred of my kin and I would make this a place that armies would break upon like water.”
    • Legolas: “I do not doubt it, but you are a dwarf, and dwarves are strange folk.  I do not like this place, … but you comfort me, Gimli, and I am glad to have you standing nigh with your stout legs and your hard axe.”
  • At the end of their time in Middle Earth: 
    • “But when King Elessar gave up his life Legolas followed at last the desire of his heart and sailed over Sea. We have heard tell that Legolas took Gimli Gloin’s son with him because of their great friendship, greater than any that has been between Elf and Dwarf” (p. 1081).

“You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together we can do great things.”

― Mother Teresa

Still True Today

In today’s environment, all too often we speak harshly to those we don’t agree with.  Even our leaders frequently use “us vs. them” language that alienates instead of heals.  

However, it only takes a little kindness and empathy, looking at the world from someone else’s perspective and speaking their language, to begin to turn things around.  

What words of kindness can you speak today?

References

Mother Teresa, https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/838305.Mother_Teresa

Tolkien, J.R.R. (1955, 2004) The Lord of the Rings: 50th Anniversary one-volume edition, Houghton-Mifflin Company

Cultural Intelligence, Our Blog

Three Keys to Understanding Any Culture

T. M. T.

By Tasha M. Troy

Since I was young, I’ve been fascinated by different cultures. I learned my first Spanish words when I was 6, and I’ve been going ever since.

Through college and my professional years, I have intentionally put myself in positions where I was in the minority – ethnically, culturally, linguistically – giving me the opportunity to learn about intercultural relationships first hand.

It hasn’t always been easy; I’ve made my share of mistakes and learned some difficult lessons.  However, through keeping the attitude of a learner and humbly working to right my mistakes, I have learned some powerful keys to developing and maintaining meaningful personal and professional intercultural relationships.

Getting Started

The first step to understanding people from a variety of cultures is to learn about how cultures differ.  However, there are several research-based models out there that portray cultural systems, and it might be hard to know where to start.

Through studies, travels, and experiences, I’ve come to see three elements of culture to be essential to get a basic understanding of any culture.

 

Time: How does this culture see the flow of time?

Cultural views of time are described in both the Hall and Trompenaars models of culture.  There are a few different elements of time that can be highlighted – long-term vs. short-term orientation, past/present/future orientation, or linear vs. cyclical views.

If you want to understand people’s everyday decisions, I think the most useful element to focus on is linear vs. cyclical.

In the US (and most Western countries), time is seen as moving in one direction towards a particular end.  This is where utopian and dystopian novels and movies come from.  For example, the Star Trek T.V. shows and movies all portray a future global utopia where race is no longer an issue, disease is eradicated, and there is prosperity for all.

In contrast, in much of the world time is seen as cyclical, moving through repeating seasons.  Ever see a movie where the ending implies the story is about to repeat itself?  Jumanji is one that comes to mind; the final shot is a new family discovering the Jumanji game, and the story begins again.  Or if you are a fan of the Wheel of Time novel series, this cyclical view of time is a major element of the overall storyline.

My Experience

In my own view of time, I have started shifting from a strongly linear to a somewhat cyclical view.  Have you ever been on a diet?  My dieting downfall has always been “office food” – when coworkers bring in tasty homemade treats.  A linear view looks at office food as a one-time opportunity, which always derails my best intentions.  I have begun looking at it as one of many opportunities, realizing that this isn’t my last chance to eat a brownie!  This is a bit more cyclical view of time and opportunity.

How do you view time?
  • I see life as a series of recurring events
  • I see life as a journey towards a destination

 

Relationships: How are people expected to relate to each other?

In my opinion, how cultures prescribe the way people interact properly is one of the most visible differences between cultures.  In particular, Hofstede’s model of cultural differences includes the concept of individualist vs. collectivist cultures, which I think is a foundational difference.

Many Western countries, and especially the US, focus on individuals.  People are expected to take responsibility for their actions, and particularly in the US, children are expected to move out of their parents’ home at a certain age.  This is such a strong element of American culture that is can be seen in every “coming of age” movie out there, from The Breakfast Club to The Dead Poet’s Society to The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

In many other countries, the focus is on communities and groups.  Independence is deemphasized while responsibility for others is highlighted.  I think in the US we had a bit more of a community focus in the past, especially in pioneer days when we only had the close-knit townsfolk to help in times of trouble.  We also see this illustrated in many military movies where individuals make huge personal sacrifices for the sake of their division or platoon.

My Experience

When I lived in S. Korea, I had many experiences that demonstrated this cultural difference, but one stands out.  One evening I was out with some Korean friends, and one member of the group had recently bought a new car.  Instead of celebrating his purchase by showing off his car, he celebrated by buying dinner for all of us, around 15 people!  This struck me as odd at the time, but it was a way for him to share his excitement over the new car with all of us.

How do you view relationships?
  • I have to take responsibility for myself and my own actions.
  • I have to take responsibility to make sure my friends and family are on the right track.

 

Worldview: How do you determine what is right and wrong?

There are so many different worldviews – Judeo-Christian, Buddhist, humanist – the list goes on and on.  However, worldviews can be boiled down to three somewhat overlapping elements, sometimes called worldview lenses, based on what is the most necessary to live a good and moral life: innocence, honor, and power.

Because I see the greatest impact of innocence and honor on individual decisions, I will focus on just these two elements.

Western cultures often embrace an “innocence – guilt” worldview, and I believe this is the basis for a “rule of law.”  If you follow the rules and obey the law, you are innocent and can become successful.  If you don’t, you are guilty and must take steps to remove your guilt.  The concept of justice is very important, even if it’s only poetic justice.  The Superman movies illustrate this worldview; Superman never kills his enemies, but he finds ways for the justice system to take its course.

In much of the world, the “honor – shame” worldview is predominant.  Rules and laws are intended to keep relational harmony, and therefore they can be bent or broken if a relationship is threatened by them.  When you act in a way that damages the peace of the group, you become shamed, and everyone close to you shares your shame.  Your actions are a reflection on all who are associated with you.  Steps must be taken to restore not only your own honor but also the honor of your family and friends.  One novel/ movie that illustrates this is The Count of Monte Cristo, the story of how a man takes vengeance on those who have wronged him, thus restoring his honor.

My Experience

Korean culture is decidedly an honor-based culture.  As an example, in Korea divorce is still considered a major failing for a family.  The fact of a divorce is kept hidden and quiet, so no one really knows about it outside the family.  However, the children from divorced families have no outlet, no opportunity to deal with their own emotional wounds.  There were several times a Korean friend confided to me that their parents were divorced, finding in me as an American a safe confidante and someone who could relate to their painful experiences.

What is your worldview?
  • It is important to me to keep out of trouble.
  • It is important to me to keep everyone happy.

 

Next Steps

If you now realize that cultural differences may be at the root of some of your misunderstandings, I have prepared a couple free resources for you to help you start identifying where you stand in relation to these three elements of culture, and thus begin to understand those around you better as well.

  • Sometimes it’s hard to know where to start.  If you would like to go deeper on this topic, I hold free exploratory coaching sessions on Fridays.  You can register online at Troy Communications or email me to schedule an appointment at TMTroy@TroyCommunications.Net
  • If you enjoyed this article and would like to receive these monthly posts in your inbox, you can subscribe at Troy Communications Blog.