Author: T. M. T.

Interpersonal Communication, Lessons from the Field, Our Blog

Peer Leadership in Trying Times

T. M. T.

The global coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak has inspired a wide range of reactions.

  • Some seem quite unconcerned, not wearing a face mask in public but at least practicing good hygiene
  • Some take moderate precautions – wearing a mask in public, washing hands more frequently, carrying a small bottle of hand sanitizer, avoiding physical contact such as shaking hands with others
  • Some take massive action – enhancing the filtering capability of their mask, completely avoiding public spaces, carrying large bottles of hand sanitizer

I actually fall in the middle group, though I wear a mask in public primarily as a courtesy for those in the last group. However, as a side note, my area of Korea has had the lowest rate of infection in the country, partially due to the prevalence of this “massive action” group here.

These responses have brought sudden and big changes to how we operate on a day to day basis. Navigating the evolving and complex environment can be challenging, even more so if you consider yourself as an influential person. I know that my attitude and my reactions have an affect on the people around me, in particular the other faculty, who find themselves in the same position I’m in.

I am careful – most of the time! – to keep a positive and helpful attitude. This is the greatest way I can help my students and colleagues through this trying time. However, being a morning person, my current challenge is to maintain that positive attitude through the afternoon, which is when most of my interpersonal contact happens.

I have come to recognize a greater need for self care throughout the day in order to maintain my positivity. What do you do to keep yourself charged up throughout the day?

Interpersonal Communication, Lessons from the Field, Our Blog

Love in the Time of Coronavirus

T. M. T.

I love Korea – the country, the culture, the people, the food, all of it. I didn’t realize how much until I returned to Korea three weeks ago after being gone for 10 years. In many ways, Korea will always be “home” to me.

I love teaching – interacting with hungry minds, creating a learning community, helping individuals reach for their potential. This has been and will continue to be my life’s work, my passion.

COVID-19 has disrupted my relationship with both of these loves!

As of this writing, there are over 3,500 coronavirus cases reported in South Korea. When I arrived three weeks ago, there were fewer than 30.

This dramatic increase has inspired a strong reaction from the Koreans I love so much.

  • My university has required that all class be taught online for the first two weeks (but I expect that to be extended). Many universities have postponed the start of classes by op to 3 weeks.
  • The majority people are wearing surgical face masks whenever they are in public. This includes the Korean staff and many of the international faculty in my office. In fact, in order to enter my housing facility, I must wear a mask.
  • The population has been encouraged by the government to avoid gathering together, including Sunday services.
Children playing soccer while wearing protective face masks.

All of these restrictions have made building and maintaining relationships more challenging – especially with my new students. I have done what I can to help them get to know me by creating and sending out videos, but I feel I’m having a harder time getting to know them.

In the past, I’ve taught lessons online, but it’s always been later in the semester, after I’ve had the chance to get to know the students and build some rapport. I’m finding this situation a true challenge to my teaching style.

I’m already making a list of things “not to do,” and I’m still looking for the best practices that will be most effective in these circumstances.

Interpersonal Communication, Lessons from the Field, Our Blog

How Can We Break Down “Silos”?

T. M. T.

This past week, I met my new colleagues for the first time.

Korean culture is community-oriented, which is one of the things I love about it. What I forgot about was how community-oriented the expat community can be, too.

I’ve taught at George Mason University for five years now, and in that time, I’ve gotten to know very few faculty outside my own department. Sadly, this is the norm, not just in higher education but also business settings and government. We tend to keep ourselves “siloed” away from people in other departments or business units.

In the past week, I’ve spent time with faculty from five different departments and from four different countries – people whose paths I might never have crossed in Fairfax, VA – on the main campus where we all teach! We are shopping together, getting lunch and coffee together, and taking walks together.

These are interesting people who I really like, with whom I have a number of things in common. Why couldn’t we meet in Virginia? Why did we have to come all the way to the other side of the world to get to know each other?

I remember when I first moved to the Washington, DC, area, fresh from living in S. Korea for eight years. I was hungry to find this kind of community, but everyone I met had their own established networks, their own agenda of how they wanted to spend their time. I was fairly lonely those first two or three years until I got connected with a community that was open to me.

Now I’m thinking about how to bring this collegial “un-siloed” sense of community back with me when I return home. I don’t have the answer yet; I’m open to suggestions!

Interpersonal Communication, Lessons from the Field, Our Blog

How Determined Are You?

T. M. T.

As I’ve been settling into my new life here in Korea, I’ve been struck by how little I need to use precise language to communicate.

Albert Einstein is reputed to have said, “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” This past week, my ability to explain things simply has been tested!

While my everyday Korean skills are coming back quickly, I’ve had to visit a couple of financial institutions to reinstate accounts from when I was here ten years ago. This has required a more complex level of Korean language, a higher level than I am currently able to use.

In each interaction, we found ways to communicate, whether it was using simplified language to explain complex situations, using a combination of Korean and English vocabulary, or even writing down what needed to be communicated. (I’ve only had to resort to using my Google Translate app once!)

In the end, I found that our determination to communicate with each other made that communication possible.

 George Bernard Shaw said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

How determined are you to truly communicate with the people around you? It seems that we take it for granted that communication is happening when we all speak the same language, but I find that’s when most misunderstandings arise.

I challenge you this week to put more effort into truly understanding those you communicate with regularly and see what it does to improve your relationships!

Our Blog

The First Step to a Great 2020

T. M. T.

By the time I graduated from high school, I had a clear vision for my career; I knew I wanted to live and work in another country. I pursued an education in teaching English as a second language so that I could be paid to live in other countries.

At the age of 29, when I moved to South Korea, I achieved my goal!

But what was next?

In my early 30s, I wandered from one job to another, simply following the opportunities that presented themselves. In my mid-30s, I finally developed a new vision for my career that has propelled me ever since.

C. S. Lewis said, “You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream.”

What are you dreaming for your life today? If you are wandering, like I was, I invite you to join me for a new study to finish out 2019 and start 2020 – a new decade! – with a purpose and direction that can propel you forward for the next 10 years and beyond!

Details and register at https://troycommunications.net/product/preparing-for-a-great-2020/

Cultural Intelligence, Leadership, Our Blog

A Sure Path to Influence

T. M. T.
By Tasha M. Troy

One of the key dimensions of culture is the “relationship-oriented / task-oriented” continuum.  As a product of American culture, and as an element of my personality, I began my career highly task-oriented.  I was focused on first, gaining the credentials and education necessary to reach my goals and second, getting as much information into my students as I could.

When I moved to South Korea, I had to learn a new method of operation.  In order to teach well, I had to build relationships with my students first.  It was in that season that I developed a greater appreciation for the people around me – their strengths, opinions, and values.

Today, I’d like to share a mini-lesson from my weekly Professional Development Essentials class on Developing a Greater Appreciation for Others.

In this mini-lesson, I made a reference to an earlier blog article I wrote last year.  Here is a link to that article.

Does Leadership Have to Be Lonely?

Interpersonal Communication, Leadership, Our Blog

Six Common Barriers to Listening

T. M. T.

Listening is such a neglected communication skill!

One thing I’ve discovered is people in today’s world often don’t feel like anyone is listening to them everyone is broadcasting: blogs videos YouTube crazy people on the news.  Everyone’s talking, and so few people are listening.  Most of us feel like our perspective is never heard or accepted or even understood.

As an introvert, I consider it to be one of my secret weapons; asking good questions and listening are the two keys for me to be able to connect with others as an introvert without draining myself too much.

Here I share a mini-lesson from my weekly Professional Development Essentials class on Six Common Barriers to Listening.

 

 

If you want to learn more about joining Professional Development Essentials, you can find the details and a link to register at https://troycommunications.net/professional-development-essentials/

 

 

Leadership, Our Blog

The Most Difficult Person to Lead (part 2)

T. M. T.
by Tasha M. Troy

I tend to be an independent learner and worker.  I love to shut the door and “get into the zone” with a project.

However, sometimes it’s hard for me to include others in my work.  They don’t move at my pace, and sometimes they interrupt my train of thought.

As I continue to develop my own leadership skills, this is an area of growth for me.

In his book Leadership Gold, John Maxwell gives us four keys to leading yourself well.  These keys are

  • learn followership,
  • develop self-discipline,
  • practice patience, and
  • seek accountability.

 

What stands out to me today is how many of these points involve other people in leading myself.  In my last article, The Most Difficult Person to Lead, I shared the first two keys with you, and now here are the last two.

 

 The third key is to practice patience.

Practicing patience is sometimes a big challenge for me. I am very task-oriented and results-oriented, and I get impatient with the process of developing those good habits that will lead to success.  I’m not often satisfied with the incremental improvements that I’m working towards. However, if we can practice patience and keep at our goals day by day, even if it’s a small step, small steps over time will get you to where you’re going.

 

The fourth key is to seek accountability.

This has been a key for me in the last couple years as I’ve been pursuing very challenging goals.  I’ve always been a pretty independent thinker, and sometimes it’s pretty humbling to sit back, take advice, listen to criticism. I always think I’m teachable, but when I am directly criticized, I find how unteachable I might actually be.

I still don’t always react well to criticism, but I’ve learned the value of listening to other perspectives and trying to see myself through other people’s eyes.  I’ve been able to connect with a number of people who help keep me accountable for my goals.  Now that I’m working on some of these daily goals like getting up at a certain time and developing certain habits that will help me be more successful, I’ve developed some accountability partnerships with friends and colleagues so that it keeps me on track to do things that I wouldn’t normally wantto do but I know that will lead to long term goals.

 

So those are the four keys that John gives: learn followership, develop self-discipline, practice patience, and seek accountability. They sound so simple, but don’t be fooled – simple actions can have powerful results.

Where do you need to grow? In what areas do you feel like you need to become more than you are today?  Could it be in the area of self-discipline? Could it be in the area of followership or developing patience? Who is there in your life who could help you become by becoming an accountability partner?  These are some things to consider.

 

Take It Deeper

Which of these areas is a challenge for you?  Do you have a hard time “trusting the process”?  Or do you need to find an accountability partner to help you move forward?  Good news – you can always start right where you are.

I know that sometimes it’s hard to know exactly where to start.

If you would like to go deeper on this topic, I offer an ongoing live online course on personal and professional development:  Professional Development Essentials.   We meet online every Monday night to discuss different elements of personal and professional growth and challenge each other to apply what we’ve learned.  Let me know if you’d like to experience one lesson for free (tmtroy@troycommunications.net)!

If you enjoyed this article and would like to receive these monthly posts in your inbox, you can subscribe at Troy Communications Blog.

 

 

Leadership, Our Blog

The Most Difficult Person to Lead

T. M. T.
by Tasha M. Troy

I might be a goal setting junkie. I love to look at the future, think about what it might mean, chart out a path to achieve different goals, and plan a course of action. I am a very future-oriented type of person.

Because of this, I’ve managed to accomplish quite a number of goals, but the truth is there are countless other things that never made it past the idea stage. They remained simply an aspiration. And even today, I can remember some of those ideas and I think, “I wonder what life would have been like if I’d pursued X, Y, or Z.”  Why did I let these great ideas die?

When you’re trying to achieve anything or to improve yourself in any way, self-leadership is definitely the starting point. Where I find I tend to fall is with the little things, for example, getting up without hitting the snooze button too many times or choosing to read a book instead of watching TV in the evening. Little decisions affect the big picture.

In his book Leadership Gold, John Maxwell gives us four keys to leading yourself well.  I will share the first two keys with you now and the last two next month.

 

The first key is to learn followership.

Everyone’s out there trying to learn how to be a good leader, learning leadership, but John argues that you need to start with becoming a good follower first. An area where that has been an important element for me has been in my own continuing efforts to engage in education, to learn more, and to grow.

For example, for many, many, many years, my focus has been to teach English to adult professionals.  As an adult, I chose to learn a new foreign language – Korean – after I finished college. I will be honest: it was a much more challenging endeavor than I expected it to be at the time. In retrospect, it makes a lot of sense that it was a challenge, and because I engaged in that difficult challenge, I was able to relate to my adult students a lot better as they were grappling with learning a foreign language as adults.

Today, some of the skills that I am struggling with that I’m learning and getting better at implementing, I have mentors who are teaching me.  The more I try to do things my own way, the harder it is. The more I relax and listen and follow the instructions of my mentors, the easier my endeavors become, the easier it is for me to reach my goals.  Bottom line? If we can become good followers, it helps us relate to the people we’re trying to lead in a more effective way.

 

The second key is to develop self-discipline.

In his book, Developing The Leader Within You, John Maxwell calls self-discipline the price tag of leadership.  This is an area where I think everyone struggles from time to time. The truth is, if you can learn how to make commitments and follow through – even when no one is watching, even when no one notices – you’ll be able to lead yourself and all others much more effectively.

This is the area I still need to grow in a bit.  My goal is to wake up at a certain time so that I can get things done before I go into the office, and I have not yet had the self-discipline to actually get out of bed at that time.  Fortunately, every day is a new opportunity to accomplish that goal!

 

Take It Deeper

Which of these areas is a challenge for you?  Do you have a hard time following someone else’s lead?  Or do you sometimes let your self-discipline slide?  Have you let that discipline slide for so long, it’s out of sight?! Good news – you can always start right where you are.

I know that sometimes it’s hard to know exactly where to start.

If you would like to go deeper on this topic, I offer an ongoing live online course on personal and professional development:  Professional Development Essentials.   We meet online every Monday night to discuss different elements of personal and professional growth and challenge each other to apply what we’ve learned.  Let me know if you’d like to experience one lesson for free (tmtroy@troycommunications.net)!

If you enjoyed this article and would like to receive these monthly posts in your inbox, you can subscribe at Troy Communications Blog.

 

 

Leadership, Our Blog

A Sure Path to Progress

T. M. T.

As a young teacher in 2003, I started receiving less-than-stellar reviews from my students.  Fortunately for me, the school I was teaching with at the timehad a good system in place to coach struggling instructors to improve their teaching approach.

For two months, I was required to create formal and detailed lesson plans – very detailed plans – for my daily classes.  I also met with my lead instructor, who helped me reflect on my lessons.  The experience completely shifted my approach to teaching, and I see the effects even to this day.

As a young leader, John Maxwell observed that just because someone had more years of experience, it didn’t automatically translate into more wisdom and more understanding. As he pondered this discrepancy, he realized experience is not the best teacher. Evaluated experience is.

We all have bad experiences, things that come up that are unexpected or unplanned – and unwanted!  It is how we respond to those situations that can really make a big difference as to whether those experiences help or hinder us. If you focus on everything that’s wrong and how it’s preventing you from moving forward, you will miss some incredible life lessons that will serve you and others well into the future.

 

Truths about Experience

In his book Leadership Gold, John Maxwell shares some observations about experience:

First – we all experience more than we understand. Life is just too complex for us to absorb everything.  We have so many people who are calling for our attention, and there are so many things that are going on in our lives and in our world that it’s hard to really absorb everything.  Add social media into the mix, and there’s no keeping up!

One simple way to make sense of all the information and demands upon us is simply taking the time to sit back and reflect on what happened that day or what’s happened in the past week. Reviewing and reflecting enrich our understanding of what’s happened.  John Maxwell talks about how he takes time each evening to reflect on what he learned that day.

Second – Our attitude toward unplanned and unpleasant experiences determines our growth. this is a reflection of the Law of Pain in John’s book The 15 Laws of Growth, which states that the good management of bad experiences leads to great growth. It could also be said that the bad management of experiences leads to no growth or maybe negative growth. Your attitude in the situation can determine whether it’s a setback or a lesson that will propel you forward.

Third – not evaluating and learning from experience is more costly than inexperience or gaining experience. If you are growth-oriented, you will look at every opportunity to grow and gain and become better and more understanding, to be a stronger leader. If we ignore the lessons that we are learning or the lessons that life is trying to teach us, we’re losing valuable time or losing valuable insight that could really be costly in the long run.

Fourth – evaluated experience sets a person above the crowd. Most people don’t take the time to reflect. Not everyone takes the time to be self-aware. And among those, even fewer take the time to reflect on a regular basis. But those who do find that their growth is accelerated, that their insights are deepened at a faster pace.

 

Becoming More Reflective

Personally, I am not the most consistent on reflecting on a daily basis. I aim for a weekly reflections. I find that taking time to think through what went well, what didn’t go well, and what I want to do differently in the future can really solidify the lessons that difficult situations can teach us.

As an introvert, I went to reflect. I want to be quiet; I want to read; I want to journal. This lends itself to a reflective lifestyle.  However, my extrovert friends want to process verbally. You might frequently be on the phone with your parents and friends because you process things differently.

If you find that it’s difficult to take that time to sit and reflect, find a friend or a partner who you can talk things through with, a “mastermind” of sorts, so that you can bounce ideas off of each other and learn from those experiences together.

I’ve also found that reflection doesn’t have to be a long drawn out process. For myself, I take about 10 minutes every morning to do some journaling. I might not write the whole time during those ten minutes, but I set the timer on my phone – so I’m not sitting there all day – and whatever thoughts come to me, those are the things I write down. Some days, my mind wanders and I start thinking about other things without writing them down, and that’s okay because I’ve made it a regular practice.

 

Take It Deeper

If regular reflection is not something that you’re practicing but you want to try it, maybe start with five minutes. Just write whatever’s coming to mind. If there was a struggle or a victory during the day, just write down your thoughts. At the end of the week, go back and re-read what you’ve written and look for common threads. That is what will lead to defining the lessons of the week.

Sometimes it’s hard to know where to start.

If you would like to go deeper on this topic, I offer an ongoing live online course on personal and professional development:  Professional Development Essentials.   We meet online every Monday night to discuss different elements of personal and professional growth and challenge each other to apply what we’ve learned.